Are there real friends in church today? Can they be found?

I have been very encouraged by a new Chrisitian brother lately. He doesn't come from a background where he would automatically share a lot of things about himself to others. But he has changed. I thank God for him.

He is so transparent about himself now. He is willing to share about his struggles in his spiritual walk, allowing people to guide him and teach him, and pray for him. It's really not an easy thing to do, it's a time where you are broken, vulnerable to your brothers and sisters. But this is great! He has grown a lot, and keeps growing. One of the reasons is that he has got trust in the people he shares things to. He takes the risks and he reaps the harvest. He believes in friendships.

I can hardly find friendship within Christian leaders today. Maybe they don't see you as a friend, but more like a customer. Customers are always right, that's why they give priority to you.They care for you because they love you and also because of their vision of reaching out. To be honest, I do think they really love the people.I am very sure. But, they have lost trust in friends. Many of them no more longer believe in friendships. Their excuse is, sharing about ownself is not edifying, letting people to see a leader having struggles does not build people up. But the fact is, they are not even sharing to the people who have the same level of faith as them, even their leaders sometimes. 

What did Paul say about this? He would boast about His own weaknesses!

So many Christian leaders can work together without real relationship. There's no accountability, no transparency. They have the 'Don't touch my life' kind of mentality. I would say some of them are not healed from past hurts, they dare not try anymore after being hurt. We are called one body of Christ, we are one family. But I don't think we are even friends! What a shame! God created friendship!

John 15 

¹²I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you. ¹³And here is how to measure it--the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends. ¹⁴You are my friends if you obey me. ¹⁵I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn't confide in his servants. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.¹²I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you. ¹³And here is how to measure it--the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends. ¹⁴You are my friends if you obey me. ¹⁵I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn't confide in his servants. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.

This is the real Lord's prayers. Jesus called us his friends and He told us everything that the Father told Him.

Are we like Jesus? Are we, after being Christians for many years, we built our own walls and do not allow people to enter. People don't feel they can follow you if they don't think you are real. Are you real to your cell group members?Discipleship is all about leading by example. People won't be impressed by what you can do, what who you really are. How can you mentor someone if yourself are not being mentored. Let's take down our 'spiritual' mask today.

This is what I learn about authentic fellowship from Rick Warren.

Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface-level chit-chat. It is genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level, sharing. It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives -- when they share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer.

Of course, being authentic requires both courage and humility. It means facing our fear of exposure, of rejection, and of being hurt again. Why would anyone take such a risk? Because it’s the only way to grow spiritually and maintain emotional health. The Bible says, “Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed” (James 5:16, Msg).  We only grow by taking risks, and the most difficult risk of all is to be honest with ourselves and with others.

I write this entry with a lot of emotions, because one of my friends who has just accepted Christ is being hurt badly. How can a new Christian be hurt by old mature Christians. Cuz i think the old mature Christians are sometimes more selfish.

May God speak to you through this entry. May we be so broken and vulnerable before God and people, even with all our weaknesses exposed, so that His name will be glorified, His kingdom may go no end.